Things I wish I knew after giving birth

I had my baby boy on the 2nd of January and it was one of the best days of our lives. That feeling you get when you hear your baby cry for the first time is so surreal. The first day is filled with so much euphoria around meeting your little one for the first time but then the next day is when postpartum sneaks up on you! I’m so grateful for the mom community we have in Sri Lanka because everyone was so helpful and kind so don’t ever hesitate to reach out if you need help too. (Check out @lankanmama on Instagram, her tips are amazing )

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For any first-time mom, use the time you have in hospital to learn how to bathe your baby, how to burp your baby, how to change the nappy or diaper. Don’t be afraid to ask the nurses to show you exactly how it’s done, but also remember there are plenty of videos on YouTube to learn from as well should you feel something was missed out on.

As soon as we left the hospital we drove straight to church to thank God for the greatest blessing He has given us, and then we went home. As most of you may know I had a C section and it took me around a month to fully heal. I remember the nurses told me to try and walk as much as possible because it helps so much with recovery.

After the okay from my doctor on the 10th day of postpartum I got into a 10 day program which helped my body to recover quickly. The program is called ‘’Momager’’ which is done by my amazing friend Sarah Illyas and I promise you it was the absolute best! A lady named Christina who is an absolute sweetheart would come every day and give me a one and half hour hot stone massage which helps to put the uterus back in place, and then before she leaves she would bind my tummy using a method called 'Benkung Binding' which I would have to stay in for the next 7 hours. The results were phenomenal and it gave me some good me-time which was very welcome. She also gives you tea that helps you produce more milk.

The first 6 weeks with a newborn is a series of ups and downs with postpartum and the sleepless nights. The first week with your baby you will feel so energised to do everything and you will wake up with no problem when he cries in the middle of the night or rush to change his diaper the moment the indicator turns colour. But then comes the 2nd week where you will start feeling drained because you don’t have that reserve amount of energy anymore because you are constantly expending it. I remember being pregnant and saying we won't let the baby sleep on the bed with us but because it was so easy to take him from his cot in the night when he cries, breastfeed him, and then let him fall asleep in my arms. By 3rd week you may feel like you're going to explode (more or less) but I want to tell you that postpartum will last for around a month and after that you will start feeling like yourself again. The main goal during this time is getting the baby into routines so that eventually things start getting easier.

That brings me to routines which are the most important thing for babies, but even more so for mom and dad! I got this book called 'Contented Little Baby' by Gina Ford which was recommended to me by one of my dear friends Thiasha who is also a new mom.

I remember before Seth was born I sat and I read the whole book in a few days! I even folded the important pages for Shehan to read as well because he refused to read the whole thing. And then I started the routine when Seth was only 2 weeks old. There was a lot of trial and error and it took us almost 3 months for him to get into a proper routine. It honestly helped me because his little body knew when it was hungry and I knew that if he cried at any other time it wasn’t because he was hungry.

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There are a few apps that I recommend all moms get which are:

‘GLOW’ - This app helps to track your breastfeeding and expressing times. This was so useful for me because sometimes my mommy brain couldn't remember which boob I fed from last and it’s so important to know because otherwise your baby won’t be getting enough milk.

'WONDER WEEKS’ - This app tells you exactly what your baby is going through week by week. So many changes happen so fast that sometimes it leaves you wondering what’s going on, so this app will keep you alerted to all the big changes that will start to take place which are known as leaps.

Another thing I didn't know about was breast engorgement. I remember I would wake up in the morning with one boob bigger than the other and it would be as hard as a rock! I couldn’t even touch it because it was so swollen and heavy. To get rid of it I would massage my boob with a warm pack (ferment) and pump milk while doing it. Pumping is really helpful to increase the amount of milk being produced as well so follow the schedules recommended in the book by Gina Ford. Every time I would feed I would try to pump and empty the boob, and store it in the fridge or freezer depending on when I was planning to use it.

Another thing I was overly worried about was spit-ups. Every time Seth would finish drinking he would burp and then put out milk which would freak me out so much! But when I spoke to other moms they said it was normal and it would pass so thank God it did :D

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Moms let me be real with you. There will be moments where you want to scream at your husband or just go cry in the shower and that’s okay. Because that’s what postpartum does to you and it honestly helped me so much when I would just let my feelings out. But always remember this lasts only for a month so don’t let it get the better of you. I would always tell myself this feeling will pass and it’s just the hormones but of course it doesn’t always go as well as I would have liked it to. But here are some tips I would like to give you is based off my own experience:

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1. Ask for help whenever you need it. If you feel depressed, always speak to someone and don’t bottle it up!
2. Shower when you wake up in the morning because it helps your mind. It’s easy to just stay in your sleeping clothes but having a shower will get you fresh for the day ahead.
3. Leave the house with or without your baby because sometimes you need to get out of your little bubble on the road to recovery.
4. Find your mom tribe! I was so glad I had friends who just became moms and it's nice to talk to someone who knows exactly what you are going through because they are experiencing the same things.
5. Let your baby get used to your daily life as well. One thing I realised when we would go out to eat I would get so stressed if Seth would suddenly wake up. But now when I think about it, it would have been fine if he woke up because it doesn’t matter if the routine doesn’t always go as planned.
6. Treat yourself! Go to the salon and pamper yourself, eat whatever you like and remember to have fun. The last thing you want to do is start feeling like life is a chore so make sure you don’t forget to take care of the main character in your story, YOU.
7. It’s ok to let your family, friends, or nanny take care of the baby so you can have an hour or 2 to relax. Remember that becoming parents doesn’t mean you have to do everything by yourself and it’s always ok to ask for help. We believe the happier we are, the happier Seth is :D
8. Make sure to keep your body active! I made the mistake of thinking my body was great right after giving birth so I started eating more and exercising less. It didn’t really affect me till I stopped breastfeeding, at which point I gained so much! So always remember to take up some form of exercise as it will help with the recovery process as well.
9. Try to stop worrying too much (I’m talking to myself here :p). Remember that even if your baby is not on a schedule yet it's okay because they eventually will be. Babies are not robots so each child will be unique in their own growth and developments.
10. Lastly, never forget that your body has just gone through the amazing process of bringing another human being into this world. I felt a little insecure at first but I realised that it's all worth it every time I see Seth. "No scars to your beautiful, we're stars and we're beautiful" (Song: Scars to Your Beautiful)

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Lastly, remember to cherish every single moment with your baby. Their adorable little toes, the smell of their breath, the cute faces they make when they recognise you, the joy of hearing their first laugh, the moment they start crawling, or when they say their first words are all so fleeting because honestly they grow up way too fast. So make the most of your time because these precious moments will soon be memories (until you decide to have another baby :D).

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